Rev. Kurt Koch – finding the balance
“ As we are now living in an eternity, the time to be happy is today.”
For the Rev. Kurt Koch, the thought of being happy, now, in the moment, unconditional of circumstance or of material wealth, was about a foreign concept as a hot tub to a penguin. For the greater part of his adult life, Kurt had lived with a worldview of “If I can’t touch it, taste it, see it and most importantly, own it, then it either does not exist or has no use.”
And in the material Nirvana of Southern California, this view served him quite well. He, along with his brother Mark, had successfully grown the family business of being hardware manufacturers to both the commercial and government aerospace industries to the point where they both were financially set and living the good life of upscale homes, fast cars, faster toys, and world travel. Both were married and raising families while at the same time living the playboy lives of musicians, recording artists and of course surfers. If they weren’t performing on stage or in the studio with their band “Wishbone”, the two brothers were out challenging life; riding the big waves in such exotic locales as Indonesia and Costa Rica, as well as doing other extreme adventures around the globe.
They truly had it all. Except in Kurt’s case, the “all” began to include drug and alcohol abuse, neglect of his family, abusive behaviors and an ever-growing depression and feeling of worthlessness. “My life seemed to go from success to despair almost overnight,” states Kurt, “Though it took years of slowly letting this monster come in and eat away at all that was good, it seemed as if I was on top of the world one day, and then at the bottom of pit of darkness the next.”
In truth, Kurt’s story is not uncommon or unusual as he was soon to discover. “There is a hole we all have inside where the big things lay,” Kurt postulates, “It is that place from where we ask all the deep questions like ‘Why am I here?’, ‘What is my purpose?’, ‘Do I matter?’. And for most people who have no solid foundation on which to ask those questions, usually it ends up being a giant cry to the universe with only silence as the response.
“That’s when the whole can turn into a chasm and we start doing anything to fill it in or pretend it is not there. We numb ourselves, we look to an external pleasure or ‘things’ to find moments of happiness, but just a King Solomon discovered, in the end, it is just empty vanity.”
And if that was not enough, while his life was spiraling out of control, Kurt was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease, a condition that attacks the thyroid resulting in a variety of symptoms including extreme fatigue, muscle weakness and pain as well as depression. He also developed Dupuytren Contracture in his left hand. Dupuytrens creates “knots” of tissue in the joint of the fingers causing deformity and arthritic type movement restrictions. Suddenly Kurt’s mortality went from future concept to a in-the-present reality.
It was at that point that God stepped in and began to bring a variety of people into Kurt’s world that would help him to see that life and happiness were real possibilities. The first was Lauri DeJullian, a spiritual growth counselor who utilizes a very unique process called Shadow Work Healing which focuses helping people do the hard work of true self-examination in order to understand the underlying causes of their behaviors and motivations. Lauri also got Kurt to join AA where he quickly developed an empowering relationship with his sponsor. Next was a former Catholic Priest turned therapist named Ralph Costello. Rather than a guilt trip, Ralph gave Kurt a path to begin letting go of shame and self-loathing and to find forgiveness and love for himself.
“Each of these people, and many more including an old Indian guru named Swami Chakradhari who literally performed miracles in front of my eyes while teaching me to laugh again, came together at just that right moment in my life to offer unique keys that began to unlock the prison doors I had built around myself.” said Kurt.
In time, Kurt began to see his inner light growing again and the shadows in his soul fading away. He was introduced to a transformative program called A Course in Miracles created by the Pathways of Light organization in Ormond Beach, Florida. It was through this organization that Kurt eventually received his ordination and now serves in addition to all his other work, as a Pastor in helping others work through the program, as well as officiating the occasional marriage rites and other pastoral duties.
At each step forward on his path back to life, Kurt learned a world of valuable lessons which he felt compelled to share with others who were stuck or struggling in their own journeys. The resulting music, writings and lectures have become a central focus in Kurt’s life.
“I don’t claim to have THE answer to anything,” exclaims Kurt, “But I do have a story that if in any big or small way can help someone to find their own light and re-connection to God and the Holy Spirit, then I have the responsibility and joy to share it.”
It is in that realization of his connection to spirit, that Kurt was able to finally find peace and purpose. Kurt Koch became Kurtis Myson, a pseudonym that encompasses his new relationship to God; Kurt Is My Son. The resulting writings, music, the Kurtis Myson Band, are all just the initial expressions and outgrowth from his journey. What comes next? Kurt can’t wait to find out.